11th
Sometimes girls really gross me out.
Yuck. On my subway commute this morning, there was yet another young woman putting makeup on. Now, I’ve certainly been known to apply a little lip gloss while on the train or maybe some quick mascara in a pinch. But I rarely, if ever, wear makeup to begin with, and on the very few occasions when I do, I make it a priority to put it on before I leave the house.
I just think it’s so nasty to take out all your (inevitably) old, discolored makeup brushes, pads, and sponges and sit there stuffed into your seat next to 50 other new yorkers trying to get to work (new yorkers who’ve already applied their makeup) and curl your eyelashes with that ridiculous eyelash contraption. It’s ugly to me, in fact. Put it on before you leave the damn house. I don’t want to watch you apply blush. I think you’re putting too much on, first of all, and I can’t look away, secondly. Thirdly, I think you looked so much prettier before you put any of this goop on your face. And finally, don’t you DARE look up at me with a glare that says “Stop watching me.” No! I will not! You’re putting on a late-night informercial right in front of me!
I don’t get it girls. I just don’t get it. Do you know how pretty you are? Do you realize that the men in your life would so much rather you wore nothing on your face but sunscreen and chapstick? Ask any guy. If he says otherwise, he’s a prick and would rather you had fake tits too.
Maybe I’m being a little hard on the issue. Maybe. But the point is that today I watched yet another girl apply makeup. I was grossed out the whole time. But THEN, after she was done slathering it all on, she pulled out a book to read and spend THE REST OF THE TRAIN RIDE (easily 15 minutes) PICKING HER NOSE SO AGGRESSIVELY THAT I THOUGHT SHE WAS MINING FOR UNDISCOVERED ORES.
I’m not kidding.
She was digging. around. in. there.
It was naaaasty.
And just when I thought, for sure she’s done now…there’s nothing left for her to dig out of there - she would go back for more! What on earth! And she was digging HARD. It was unreal.
And the very worst part is that after she’d dig something out, she’d EXAMINE it, CAREFULLY, and then FLICK IT ON THE FLOOR.
Death.
